Thursday, June 18, 2009

thoughts- how do people see you?

After a very long, stressful, emotional tiring day I was talking to a friend about some things that had taken place, been said and emotions. I wont go into details of the day, lets just say I don't care to repeat it ever!
Anyway she said something. I answered, the conversation ended. But it got me thinking, again. I have had similar posts to this, but not quit the same. I am not one to really care what others think of me, like me or don't, be friends or not, I am a take me or leave me person. I wont change to make another happy, or to make or keep a friend, I am who I am, love me for me or stay away. Simple. I don't mean that in a mean way at all, its just who I am. I don.t believe in pretending to be something I am not to gain a friend. So that being said I was thinking "what do others see when they look at me? talk to me? see my life, family and how we live? My children? Our beliefs? us and me individually?"
So then I am thinking what kind of person do I want to be? Am I that person? If not what needs to be done to be that person?
What kind of person do I want people to see? Lets face it while I don't care what others think, at the same time I do care what they see. I wont change who I am to make a friend, but I don't want someone to see me and think I am a liar, cheater, dishonest, thief, moocher, ignorant, lazy and well you get the idea right?
So what do I want people to see? To think? and am I close to portraying that? To being that? I don't want people to think I am something I am not, I want to be real, I try to be.
So who am I, hard one that is? I am me, honest, I have a very strong testimony of The Gospel, my faith and beliefs are strong and help me decide what I do daily, guide me through each day, effecting all decisions everything I do from what I eat, drink, wear, say, where I go, entertainment, you name it. I have a strong testimony of Prayer, forgiveness, Christ like Unconditional love. I try to live the Gospel, following the commandments, Word Of Wisdom, honoring my covenants, doing as the Lord says, as the Prophets guide us, being honest with those in my life, reading my scriptures daily, putting my children first, my family first, honoring the covenants that keep me sealed to my children, holding onto hope that someday I will have a Celestial marriage again.There is so much more.
But the big question to me is do others around me see those things? Do I live life well enough that people see those things? Really truly do they? Do they see me as judgmental?Loving? faithful? Determined? As self sufficient as possible? As one with unconditional love for others> Forgiving? Believing in the Atonement? I really don't know. I would like to know, It would give me insight on what I need to do to change some areas of life, how I live.
I believe in unconditional Love for everyone, when I am not able to feel the Christ like Love Jesus would have me feel I pray, he fills my heart. I believe in forgiveness for each other, no matter what they have done, The Lord forgives all, he requires us to forgive others even when they don't ask, or even when we don't feel they deserve it, we are not the judge of others, only Heavenly Father has the right to judge. I believe in the atonement, repentance. We can be forgiven for anything we do, we should forgive those who wrong us. I believe that through Christ anyone can change, anyone can heal no matter what it is they need healed, be it physical, emotional, you name it it can be healed through the Lord.
I believe in revelation, that The Lord guides, the Holy Ghost guides, comforts, and protects us daily. That if we pray, asking for guidance we will receive answers,guidance, we just have to listen for answers. I believe in angels. The lord sends them in many forms. I think of angels as those who are there t protect us, comfort us, sometimes- usually they are humans friends and family. They are in the right place at the right time, there to help, fill a need, so if you feel prompted to reach out to another do so, you may be their angel. Today I had a couple angels, I needed badly. Long story short, I worked hard, sold lots of stuff to come up with light co money, did not have it all in time, they showed up to turn me off! I managed to get a few hours. I ended up being able to come up with the money needed. It will be paid tomorrow, I had many angels in my life today. Some I never met and hope to someday.
I believe in Celestial marriage, I also believe that if its the Lords will, and if certain people do the foot work and his part I can have it again. I know if he does the Lord will make a way, but only if he does his part, I also believe he can be healed by the Lord, if he does his part.
I believe in the Word of Wisdom, that I can be healthier, stronger and keep up if I follow it, live it. Not only the dont's but the do's. Its not just a set of rules set to tell us what not to do, its a way of eating, a diet, a healthy wholesome diet. That if followed can improve out health.
But do I show people all these things in the way that I live my day to day life? If I do on some then that's good, but if not on some then I have work to do, changes to live. Because I also believe that to enter the Celestial Kingdom I must live all these things and more(not enough blogging space to write it all) So while looking at myself I think I need to change some things. Some I am sure of, some not so much. If someone meets me and knows I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints will they think "hey they are not so bad, good people." or will it leave them thinking "ew, dishonest, don't want them in life, judgmental, lazy people"?
I hope to leave a good impression. I hope that maybe my deep beliefs will help others learn to let go of the anger, and forgive. To love another and let go of the hurts, to help offer service where they can. Service comes in many forms, not just money, sometimes so simple you don't realize its service. Maybe show another prayers do get answered, God does listen, take your problems to him, they are never to small for him to listen, for him to answer, to guide, to comfort so take your problems to him daily. What kinds of things do people do that leave an impression with you? Good and bad? What do people not do that leave an impression? good and bad?
I would love some input on this. Be nice though! some feed back and it does not have to be specific about me, it can be general, what stands out in a person? helps you form an opinion? What about a person, their lifestyle, actions help you form an opinion on a person? I know what I notice in others, but is it the same for everyone? similar what?
I am not sure I am even saying what I mean right, I will reread tomorrow, I may edit then! I can do that LOL
also I am not fishing for complements to hear how awesome I am, if you ant to tell me what things people do that affect the way you look and think of them in general, in regards to another person thats good also. I just want to know what makes a impression. I am curious to know if I come even close to letting others know what I think and believe as I go through each day, but not in a fishing for compliments kinda way, KWIM?
nite nite all!