Marriage/faith/testimony- Alma 32

Ok I have to share this. A friend who is struggeling in her marriage came across this. I know this lady from a support group I am part of. We at the group all have similar issues in our marriages, and are LDS. We can connect on a spiritual and earthly level while going through the struggles our spouses have brought into our lives.  When I read I was deeply touched. It really made me think. And I wanted to share. You dont have to be struggeling in your marriage to have this help, or apply. I have learned so much from the support of these ladies. They are there, understanding my feelings at all times. I have included her thoughts as she read. I copied exactly what she typed. I did not want to take away from it by changing it.

As she was reading it occured to her to  interchange marriage or relationship with seed or tree. 

Read

 Alama 32

28 Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give 
place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a 
true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, 
that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to 
swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, 
ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is 
a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my 
soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it 
beginneth to be delicious to me. 

29 Now behold, would not this increase your faith? I say unto you, 
Yea; nevertheless it hath not grown up to a perfect knowledge. (or 
nevertheless it's still not a perfect marriage)

30 But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth 
to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it 
swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow. And now, behold, will 
not this strengthen your faith? Yea, it will strengthen your faith: 
for ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it 
sprouteth and beginneth to grow. 

31 And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say 
unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own alikeness. 
32 Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, 
behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away. 

33 And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and 
planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to 
grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good. 

34 And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge 
is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because 
you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye 
also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth 
begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand. 

35 O then, is not this real? I say unto you, Yea, because it is 
light; and whatsoever is light, is good, because it is discernible, 
therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have 
tasted this light is your knowledge perfect? 

36 Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither must ye lay aside your faith 
(marriage), for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed 
that ye might try the experiment to know if the seed was good. 

37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us 
nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow 
up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it 
with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit. 

This is the part that got to me:

38 But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its 
nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of 
the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers 
away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out. 

39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good,(this is not 
because DH is no good) neither is it because the fruit thereof would 
not be desirable (neither is it becasue your marriage is not 
desirable or wont work); but it is because your ground is barren,(we 
planted in the wrong place...we started off wrong and have been going 
about it all wrong) and ye will not nourish the tree ( we don't pray 
together or read scriptures together or do anything but fight 
together...both of our faults), therefore ye cannot have the fruit 
thereof. 

40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with 
an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit 
of the tree of life. 

41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it 
beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with 
patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; 
and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life. 

42 And because of your adiligence and your faith and your patience 
with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, 
by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, 
which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all 
that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall 
feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, 
neither shall ye thirst. 

43 Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and 
your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the 
tree to bring forth fruit unto you. 

I have included her thoughts as she typed them. I really liked the message you get by inserting marriage or relationship. This could apply to so many things in life. Our marriages especially. If we truly feel this way, act and treat our marriages as we do our testimonies can you imagine how they would grow! If the world treated their marriage that well, as such a precious thing marriages would not fail. People would work harder to save them, to protect them, to nurture them from the start. So often we take for granted, and we do not place it in as important a place as it should be. Celestial marriage is our number one goal as LDS people, yet so often we do not make a concious effort to save, improve, nurture our relationship, our marriage, our love. We should! I am printing this and hanging it on my wall as a reminder. I am also sending a copy to L. I know my marriage is not in a good place right now. But I pray for it daily, I pray for God's will daily, his guidance. I think making the decision to nurture my marriage is the best way to possibly save it. No matter what happens on earth I know I want the Celestial marriage, Eternal marriage. There is no way to have that with out nurturing and growing the relationship. I hope that you can read, ponder, pray and apply to your lives, you relationships, and marriage. And for those of you that have already done so- Keep on doing!

reading and learning

I am reading some new stuff these days. I have found out that the LDS Church ha an addictions program! They have a book to go along with it! So I am reading it along with some other suggested reading. I figure the more I can learn about addictions the more prepared I am to deal with Larry. Hopefully I can put all I learn to use to help with our relationship, and to help with the kids relationship with him. He is doing his part, working hard at recovery, being honest and open with me. I want him to make it back to the Temple one day, for him to have his Preisthood reinstated, I feel I need to do all I can to support him in that. If he does his part and I do mine the Lord will do his and thats the most important. I still pray constantly over what to do. Still my answers are to stay. I have found a new counceling center for the kids! I think this place will do a lot for them. The therapist knows I have not divorced and do not intend on it and she is willing to help us all work through everything that comes up. They are a Christian based center. They have worked with other families with similar situations and had them be ok in the end. I feel like this is where the Lord has guided me. 

I visit Larry as often as I can, about every other weekend. He is doing good, or as good as can be considering. He has kept himself involved in therapy and classes to help him this whole time. I see a big change in him when I see him, when we visit. He wishes more people would give him a chance to show what he is doing, that he is trying. Its frustrating at times, these guys cant do it with no support from friends and family, yet most of the time they get no support. I have really learned a lot in the past few years. Things I dont want to know. But not only about abuse, but addictions, and the way people react. I have learned more about people judging others than I care to.  The harshest have been thoe of my own faith, sad as that it. I have had more people turn their backs on me due to Larrys actions, due to my following my promptings than I thought possible. I still don't know what the future holds, or where the Lord will lead me, I take life one day at a time. I make no promises to stay married, to divorce, or ever live in the same house as Larry, I also make no promises I wont. Ideally we will work through all this, and with the help of therapists,prayer and Heavenly Father we can all find peace and healing and remain an intact family, eventually sealed together forever-again. 

Anyway back to my original topic here. I am reading LDS Addiction Recovery Program and Hold Onto Hope. I am also reading some articles here. I am posting these in hopes that maybe someone with an addiction, or someone who loves one with an addiction may read and find help, or at least find it in their hearts to forgive. I am not asking anyone to forgive Larry, you have to decide to do that on your own. But I know many that have relationships with others with addictions. Maybe you can find peace finally. There are support groups that are through the church. You can find them here.  I hope you will read, pray and ponder. I hope you will find peace and forgiveness for those in your lifes that have addictions that have hurt you. Addictions come in many forms, they hurt many people. No matter what the addiction is, be it sex,food,shopping,drugs,alcohol whatever it hurts you and those around you. I know some reading this have hurts and anger from years ago. Maybe from reading you can let it go and find happiness.

This is my prayer for those reading this.

And Many people can do some of the things that lead to addictions and not have it be a problem. We are all different.

My love and prayers to you all

Jae