Thursday, September 2, 2010

So not posted as much, been kinda off

trying to grasp life as it is, accept things,learn how to navigate the body I was given to work with, the mind i was given to use. Learning about me, the syndroms, disorders, whatever you want to call them, learning of them and so learning of me. What makes me tick, or fall down, what makes me walk, run, sleep, eat, fall down!
no really i have found the last few months more focus on me, learning all the new things I have learned I have. Getting answers to many things, understanding why things have happened my whole life, and trying to accept it all. Its not been easy, I cant even say I have accepted it all, but I am trying. I am trying to find positives, ways to cope with out loosing myself more, loosing more things I love to do. Like for instance I LOVE to take kids to the park. We have not done much the past few summers in parks due to my not feeling up to it, so now I have thrown a blanket and pillow in van, they stay 24/7 when we go anywhere, when I feel a nap coming on we find a park, no matter where you are theres a park near by! So we go to the park, older kids play with younger kids, I nap near by. If needed i am around, I get to rest, watch them enjoy life and so I am enjoying life as well! No clue how we will work it come winter! but when its warm this is the plan from now on! We have also started joking about cataplexy, and narcolepsy and all the weird things I do due to it. Makes it lighter. I have read and found good people with the same things, and shared some funny stories with kids, letting them see the funny side and also other peoples explanations of how it feels, that sound like me, lets them learn more and it helps. I am not only tree huggin hippy momma I am also narco momma now! I am trying to find ways to handle it in public, it happens more and more, happens that way. Ialso discover- and all my family reading this will enjoy this all growing up how many times was I on crutches, fall down get hurt, trip on nothing, drop things, always a clutz right! well guess what I am NOT a CLUTZ! I have cataplexy! LOL  thought it was funny when I realized that I am not a clutz its cat attacks! I think Jolie I still have to take blame for sparklers and scars, cant blame that one on Cat attack! Sorry bout that still!
and you know how sleepy I was as a teen? always falling asleep when I shouldnt? Yup That was N there, everyone thought I was depressed or lazy didnt want to go to school, nope it was narcolepsy. It amazes me while I learn. So now with my new knowledge I am trying to save what i can, learn to roll with the flow, I have always done that well but this has messed with my head. So now I get to start moving forward, and learn how to make it work for me. I know it can be done. I have a few things happening,I will tell you more later, not just yet. I am still open for business, its been slow and on back burner, soon will catch up. I am going to focus more on Nutritional Healing. So many things can get better by eating right. And right is different for everyone! Weight, moods, pain, diabetes, heart, all kinds of things. There isnt an ailment that cant be helped in some way with nutrition, foods, herbs, they do so much. The do a body good!
I have done so much learning recently its unreal.
I have learned lot lately, harsh words said in frenzy, retaliation, sleep, fear, anger, doubt, confusion only hurt. Always think before you speak, especially if its someone you love in your life, you never know when your words cant be fixed no matter what you say. When what you say is the thing that makes it so a person will never talk to you again without always thinking theres a motive, even if it starts out an accident, always calm down, think clear, get your facts, say it clear, make sure its clear, because you can loose those closest to you, I had that experience recently, it is something I will forever be sad for and miss, wish I could fix, know I cant, if i could i would in a heart beat. So think first, dont answer the phone when sleeping, and if its heated cool off and pick up later before damage is done. then maybe you wont be sorry
 I know I am sorry, more than anyone knows or will know unfortunately wish I could send hugs in the mail! LIKE HARRY POTTER THE REAMING THOSE BOYS GET BY LETTER ONLY A HUG BY LETTER WOULDNT IT BE AWESOME!  I would send lots!
till later